


You're Happy When I'm On My Knees

by A_M_Kelley



Category: Bandom, Punk Rock RPF, The Clash
Genre: 1970s, Closeted Character, Denial, Drunkenness, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Plot! Plot! What is Plot?!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:44:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_M_Kelley/pseuds/A_M_Kelley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe is ashamed by the way he feels and acts towards Mick while feeling slightly disgusted by his own sexuality. Mick on the other hand is just waiting patiently for Joe to wake up and realize that he's not alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Happy When I'm On My Knees

They've been through this a dozen times but no matter how often they do it, it gets harder for Joe to stomach each time. It's not that Joe doesn't want it, it's because he does. He craves the contact only Mick can provide him without judgment or thinking less of him, because in retrospect Mick is in the same boat as Joe. Mick is just more comfortable with himself.

But not Joe. Joe needs at least a few beers in him before he's willing to do anything remotely homosexual with Mick. In fact, he's indulging in a pint right now. It's one of the luxuries of hooking up in a dingy club, if not the only luxury. It's so loud out on the dance floor but here in the tight grimey confines of the bathroom stall, him and Mick stumbled into, it's surprisingly quiet. As quiet as a place like this can be, that is.

Joe hears the stall door close behind him and his ears pick up on the sound of Mick latching it shut so no one could just barge in on them. Not that many people actually use these bathrooms anyway, but it's all for Joe's sake. He gets paranoid in these situations. Joe has his back to Mick as he takes a huge chug from his pint, disposing it's remains before finally turning round to his bandmate. Joe has his eyes pointed down at the dirty ground, refusing to meet Mick's dark ones.

It isn't the first or last time Joe will look down in shame for what they're about to do and Mick doesn't complain. He never does. This alone is like walking on eggshells and Mick is really pushing his luck when he cups Joe's face to angle it up to his, but even when Joe complies with the movement his eyes are darted off to the side. Mick wants to kiss him but he knows he can't. They didn't do things like that. It was never a spoken rule in their relationship but Mick knew what Joe liked and what he didn't like, kissing being one of those things.

So instead of risking everything for romance Mick did the next best thing. He pushed Joe down onto the toilet seat with a thud and dropped to his knees in front of his bandmate with the intent of getting Joe off. A rush of air left Joe's throat and the mug slipped free from his grip to clatter to the floor, retaining it's compsure and not chipping in the slightest. There was a short huff from below and Joe looked down between his legs to see Mick smirking.

"Quite the sloshed sod, eh?" Mick mused in a soft tone, unzipping the front of Joe's tight pants. "Off your head, Joe?"

Joe didn't answer. They both knew Joe was pissed, he had to be for this. Mick was quick to just get on with what they set out to do when they came into this bathroom in the first place, yanking down Joe's pants and underwear in a single bound to get to what he wanted. Joe was already hard, which wasn't a surprise, and flushed to a shade of rosy pink much like his cheeks, except Joe was pink from shame rather than arousal. It made no difference to Mick, though. Never did.

Joe watched as his friend wrapped a hand around the base of his hard cock and leaned forward slightly to wrap those moist lips around the tip in a wet and suggestive suckle. A moan automatically escaped Joe's lips and he lost himself in the only sensation that he could love and hate at the same time. His head was swimming and his body was thrumming with excitement as Mick pushed himself further down Joe's length, making a choked little sound when he reached his limit.

Mick set up a fast and synchronized pace, coordinating his eager mouth in time with his stroking hand. Joe was throbbing against Mick's slippery tongue and when he thought he was about to come the dirty bugger would pull off to stave off his orgasm. Joe grunted in frustration and knotted a fist in Mick's unruly hair, biting his bottom lip as he glared into those black eyes.

"Yer a right dirty bastard, Micky," Joe growled, squeezing Mick's hair tighter to earn him a soft moan. Mick loved it when he pulled his hair for some reason.

"You get hot fer it, mate," Mick replied wickedly, smirking.

Joe hated that smirk. It made him feel like Mick was laughing at him for being a poof.

"I'm hot fer it 'cause you never bloody finish me off when I wanna!" For a second it was like a normal conversation, a playful argument amongst friends, but Joe's cock was hanging out and wet from Mick's saliva, begging for release. "It's always tease, tease, tease with you."

"You love it."

"Micky..." Joe warned in a low tone.

He didn't know whether he was frustrated with arousal or hated that Mick was right. Joe hated being this way but goddamn did he got off on being with another man. He knows what most people would call him, what he would call himself. What would his father think of him if he saw Joe's best mate on his knees in a grungy bathroom gobbling off his son? Surely he'd be disgusted as much as Joe was disgusted with himself. But it didn't stop Joe from pushing Mick's mouth back onto his cock.

Mick squeaked out a moan that was muffled by a mouthful of Joe and let the other man pull him up and down by his hair to guide him in a frantic rhythm. It wasn't something Joe did often, because he didn't like touching when he didn't have to, but Mick let Joe use him any way he wanted to. Mick's pants were so tight that it hurt and his knees ached from the strain but he figured it was worth it. Joe was worth it.

Joe raised his hips off of the toilet and bottomed out in Mick's throat grunting delightfully at the wet pressure around his cock. Mick pulled off abruptly with a gasp, catching his breath as he choked slightly on his own saliva and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand. Joe closed his eyes and let the back of his head thud against the wall behind him. After a few more gasping breaths Mick's hand wrapped around Joe's cock and his mouth closed around it once more, only this time Mick did something different.

What Joe didn't know was that when Mick caught his breath he also managed to suck on a finger long enough to slick it up liberally with his spit. When they both got back into the rhythm of things Mick took the moment to spread Joe's legs apart further while he was distracted. Joe's hands were gripped to the sides of the toilet seat, knuckles turning white from strain, and then he felt it.

Joe's eyes shot open and his heart stopped as he spared a glance down at the man between his spread thighs. Mick's eyes were closed and his lips slid and expanded over his impressive length, moaning around his mouthful like it was the hottest thing ever. Joe looked past the erotic display of Mick sucking him off and felt, more than saw, what Mick was planning to do next.

There was pressure against the most intimate place on his body and when that pressure pushed forward Joe stiffened up, unable to move. Mick's slender finger breached Joe's untouched entrance and he was more than satisfied when Joe bucked upwards into his mouth further, making him gag. Joe let out a startled half-hearted moan, shuddering when he settled back down, impaling himself even more on Mick's digit.

No, no, no. This wasn't happening. Mick hadn't actually stuck his finger up his-- No! Fuck!

All Joe could think about was what a queer he was for liking this and letting his best mate, Mick, do this to him. He felt like a dickhead but fuck... Fuck, did he like it. Joe hadn't pushed Mick off yet, so Mick took that as a good enough sign to continue. He sucked harder and faster, bobbing his head and stroking his spare hand along Joe's cock, making him squirm as he thrusted his finger deep inside of him.

Joe never felt anything like it before, not even experimented a little when he first realized he preferred blokes over birds. In his mind he was still afraid of what he was, afraid of what people would think if they knew he was dodgy. Joe couldn't even accept the fact that he was a homosexual but Mick... Mick knew all the horrible things about him and never so much as batted an eye. Mick was just like him except Mick wasn't scared and Mick didn't care if anyone knew about him.

Mick's finger pressed against something inside of Joe and without any warning Joe came with a broken moan, emptying himself in Mick's eager mouth. His body was wracked with an intense orgasm and Joe didn't have a clue as to why he came so fast or why it was the best thing he's ever felt. He looked down at Mick frantically, watching Mick pull off of his spent cock agonizingly slow.

"What the bloody 'ell was that?" Joe exclaimed, chest heaving and body quaking with aftershocks from his orgasm.

"What? This?" Mick asked cockily as he crooked his finger inside of Joe once more, pressing sharply against his prostate. Joe moaned loudly, forgetting where he was, and pressed himself into the contact more, wantonly. "Fancy that, do ya?"

"I've ne'er felt anything like that before," Joe admitted with a blush as Mick pressed in again. Joe whined.

"Neva?" Mick inquired as he stroked Joe's sensitive prostate until it hurt.

"Oi! Don't o'er do it!" Joe reached down to still Mick's hand and Mick pulled his finger out of Joe with a somewhat indifferent gaze.

Mick stood up and wiped his hands off on his dark jeans, sinking back into his cold make believe façade he kept up for Joe's sake. Joe joined him in a standing position to tuck himself back into his pants before zipping up. It felt cramped in the stall, and hot, like he couldn't breath and Joe spared a glance at Mick's solemn expression. Joe's eyes drifted downward and he noticed Mick was still hard in his pants, wanting and waiting for his own release. A release that Joe was afraid to grant.

"We should probably get back out there. Lads are probably wonderin' where the 'ell we went," Mick says nonchalantly, like he hadn't just sucked off his unofficial boyfriend who didn't even have the decency to wank him off.

"What about your..." Joe trailed off looking down at the painful reminder of what they just did and how badly it turned Mick on to suck off another bloke.

"'M fine, Joe. Honest," Mick reassured, failing at playing it off as if his release was unimportant. Joe frowned. He felt more ashamed than he did before.

"I could--" Joe stammered, swallowing his words as Mick looked up at him expectantly with big puppy eyes. "Well... I could toss you off if ya want."

"That's not necessary, Joe," Mick lied, knowing to take baby steps with Joe. He knew what it could be like trapped in the closet and Joe was his friend which made his heart break even more. "I'm 'appy jus' ta tooch you."

Joe wasn't going to back down. He felt terrible for taking and taking and now he felt like repaying Mick for all he's done for him and all the bullshit he's had to put up with just because he wasn't at peace with himself.

"There must be somethin' you'd like me ta do," Joe offered shakily.

"Well..." Mick trailed off only to be interrupted by Joe.

"Anything, Mick. You call it and I'll do it. Promise."

Mick looked up at Joe, searching his bandmate's face for any bluff and finding none. Joe looked hurt and he probably felt even worse judging by his insistence to please Mick. Mick tossed the idea around in his head for three seconds before pulling Joe to him and wrapping his long arms around his neck, resting his forehead against Joe's as if he were exhausted.

"Take my breath away," Mick whispered like it was a secret and maybe it was. "Kiss me, Joe."

They've never kissed, not even once yet. Mick could handle the painful erection in his tight jeans but if he didn't get a taste of Joe's lips soon he thought he might go insane.

Mick kept his eyes closed because he couldn't stand to see the rejection he knew was coming but the funny thing is, is that it never came. There was a pause and then a shift. Next thing Mick knew Joe's lips were sealed to his in a surprisingly soft kiss devoid of all stiffness or awkwardness Mick had expected. It wasn't what either of them expected because Joe was confident. He was sure of this. Sure if himself.

Joe wrapped his arms around Mick, making sure to not break the kiss as he embraced his bandmate in a passionate kiss. One of Joe's hands came up and tangled into Mick's hair, deepening the kiss with hidden fervor. For the first time in Joe's life he felt content and more importantly he felt like this is where he belonged, in Mick's arms.

Joe broke away from the kiss, seeing that Mick's eyes have gone completely black, and huffed out a weak chuckle, head swimming slightly from his dull buzz.

"You ever tell the lads about this and I'll box yer ears in," Joe threatened half-heartedly, not exactly meaning the words but perhaps just a little.

Couldn't really blame him for being embarrassed about kissing another guy even if what they did before was far more extreme than a kiss. But somehow a kiss felt more intimate, more personal.

"Only when you're ready to, Joe. And I'll stand right by you," Mick promised ardently, stealing a peck from Joe.

"Promise?"

"Well, I don't want to get me ears boxed in, now, do I?" Mick joked, earning him a swat to the back of the head.

"Alright, dickhead..."

"Honest, though," Mick clarified after he stopped laughing, looking deeply into Joe's eyes. "By your side, Joe. Always."

"Yeah?" Joe asked again for good measure, making Mick roll his eyes and shake his head ruefully.

"Come on, sweetheart," Mick mused playfully grabbing Joe's hand and pulling him out of the stall. "We 'ave appearances to make and people to impress. England will fall without us."

"Suppose you're right, love," Joe replied, playing along with Mick and slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Wouldn't want that to 'appen."

Soon Joe and Mick just became two more faces in a crowd, blending in with the rest of the world around them as it turned on it's axis.

Everything was the same as before, but different.


End file.
